i will never stop re-reading DILF because Scott in this fic is literally the best thing ever

i don’t know if vegetarians and vegans realize how silly they sound when they work in the kitchen

like

honey

if you’re vegan and you don’t work in a strictly vegan restaurant none of us trust you in that kitchen

i know you’re looking at us like “they just dont get it those heathens”

but we think  you’re stupid 

incredibly stupid

adventuresonpaper:

I’ll come back for you i whisper as i caress the video games i can’t afford